Just three little words but enough to send a pain straight to my heart. These are the words our daughter Maddisyn asked the woman we had chosen to be the role model in my daughters life, her god mother.
When I found out I was pregnant again I vowed I would not make the same god parent errors I did the first two times around, I would choose people special in our lives and whom I thought would be there for the long haul. For god father we choose a very close friend whom we seen weekly and had coffee and close contact with constantly, sadly he too has drifted away but still comes over to visit with us sometimes and the kids do know who he is.
The god mother does work on the road quite a bit and I don’t fault her for that, this however is a fairly new career and certainly not excuse enough to never see her god daughter. I am uncertain that she will read this post or not, if she does who is to say it would make a difference but since this has been heavy on my heart for quite some time now I feel I really need to get it out there.
Who are you? Three words spoken at a house party that sent me wondering the same thing. When choosing this person as the god mother to what may well be my only daughter I wanted to give her someone to look up to, to form a close bond with and know that she was special to. I chose a friend of mine for nearly 7 years at the time, I thought I was making the right decision. unfortunately now at age 4 my daughter does not know this woman and may never have this bond. unfortunately at age 4 months she probably would not have known this woman. She came to the baptism and said the words with us and we have scarecly seen her since. She has had plenty of time to call and ask to take Maddy for a visit or to the park or to come hang with us but never does/did.
My heart hurts for the decisions I have made for my children in choosing their godparents and I do truly hope that if I have more I can make a better decision for them. Let me run down the god parent list to give you an idea of what I mean.
Chase – God mother is married to my cousin, he has never met her that he would remember. God father is Lee’s best friend, lived with us on and off, lives out of town now but is still a part of the kids life and sees him when he is home.
Blake – God mother is my step-aunt, we do see her although he does not see her much usually on holidays when we are invited along, god father is my younger brother who is around too and we see occasionally.
Maddisyn – I spoke of both hers at the start of this post.
Holden – God father is the same as Maddisyn, god mother is my sister so he sees her often.
So as you can see some choices were ok and some were not so much. I just hope that each person can step up and be what the kids need them to be should ever a time arise, but what I hope most of all is that when that time arises, they would have made the effort to see and know the kids so the kids at least knew they had someone else in their corner.